Outside Bristol Zoo is the car park, with spaces for 150 cars and 8 coaches. It has been manned 6 days a week for 23 years by the same charming and very polite car park attendant with the ticket machine. The charges are £1. per car and £5. per coach.
On Monday 1 June, he did […]
After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was
enough, as the social wouldn’t buy them a bigger bed and they weren’t
strong enough to nick one.
The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn’t
want to have any more children.
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a […]
An Englishman is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Frenchman: “You English folk eat the whole bread??”
Englishman (in a bad mood): “Of course.”
Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) “We don’t. In France, […]
A guy is 81 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, “Pick me up.”
He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, “Pick me up.”
He looked in the water and […]
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, “ When I am worried about getting nervous at the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take […]
Click on the link below and it will open up Media Player for you to view.
Don’t do cyber sex in Holland
The clip is in Dutch but language shouldn’t be a barrier in this clip which is self explanatory and hilarious.
Enjoy!
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”
Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”
Ms. Brooks had had enough. […]
Normally when cat meets mouse, you can guarantee the outcome of a contest that should be about as onesided as Manchester United against Torquay United. But not this time. And it’s made this unlikely pair the latest stars of the internet.
The cat won’t do what he was put on this earth to do and give […]
Launch in external player
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them;
“Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn’t turn up.”
“Sure,” they said, “You’re welcome.”
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of […]
A husband had just finished reading a new book, “YOU can be the MAN of YOUR House”.
He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, “From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word […]
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!” She says, “Well put them between my thighs and that will warm them up.”
After lunch he goes back out […]
A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, “Dad.” With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
Dear Dad,
It is with great […]
